Sad
There are things happening that are just sad. So overwhelmingly sad. My thoughts are scattered today... this is therapy for me. I have been writing this for a week. Please be patient as you read my heart...
Over the past week, C & I have learned about a child who has a skin condition called Epidermolysis Bullosa. We had never heard of this before last week. I encourage you to read about it here. To sum it up in very, very basic & non-medical terms, the skin is extremely fragile and blisters and peels when touched/rubbed. There are varying levels and some people have a mild, manageable form while others have a very severe form that can be life-threatening. There is no cure. There is no real treatment outside of bandages and baths. It is so sad.
This is not our child. And that is sad. Because this is a precious little one who is growing up in an orphanage. A typically developing child who is sometimes in pain because of a horrible disease. I have shed many tears over this little one. Our Navy lifestyle is not conducive to consistent medical care for a rare disease. It just isn't. So we continue to wait for our referral and trust that our child will join our family when the time is right. More importantly, as we navigate the waters of grief for this little one, we remind ourselves that God is God even when we aren't Mom and Dad. We aren't saving these kids. God is expanding our family with one or two of them...but He is the one who saves. The only one. Yet, we still feel sad for the pain that leads to salvation. For the hurt that leads to adoption. For the fallen world with it's disease and death and neglect and abandonment and malnutrition and orphans. It's just sad.
There are racial issues in our country. Serious, horrible racial issues. And it is so, so sad. I have friends who are raising young, black boys and these mommas are scared. Scared for their babies. Scared of what will happen if their teenage sons get pulled over for speeding. Or for a tail light that is out. Or for not signaling. Things I do regularly. It is so sad.
Police are being attacked. The very people who are supposed to protect us. The ones who I teach my (white) children to go to if they are lost or to call in an emergency and to trust because they will keep us safe. It is so sad. Most officers are good. But we are all such a mess. Truly, all of us. That is sad. And why we desperately need Jesus.
France. Turkey. Syria. And these are just the places making our news. Ever heard of Burundi? It's a teeny-tiny country in Africa with great big problems.
Orphans. Disease. Terrorism. Discrimination. Prejudice.
You can try to ignore it, but it is still there.
You don't have to understand it for it to be true.
You don't have to experience it for it to be true.
You don't even have to believe it for it to be true.
You don't have to know about a rare disease for people to be suffering from it all over the world.
You don't have to understand privilege or fear or oppression for them to be happening all the time.
When your eyes are opened, you can't get away from the sad. And that's ok. It's ok to be sad. It's ok to be overwhelmed. Because it really, truly is sad.
There is so much happiness, too. We can't forget. With tears running down and our throats clenching up and wailing "I don't understand why!" we can't forget that we are also surrounded by so much happiness. We can't forget it. But we also can't ignore the sad. Life comes with both. And they can be simultaneous. And that can be confusing, but we have to keep talking, reading, working it out. Most importantly, we have to keep listening. To our friends who are saying that they are nervous. To our neighbors who screaming that they are scared. To our God who comes in "a gentle whisper" (1 Kings 19:12).
I want to listen to you, friends. To truly hear. To learn something new and recognize the world for what it is...the good and the bad. To be challenged and open and heart-broken and ok. I want to be
real. Vulnerability is hard. Sadness it hard. Happiness in spite of sadness is hard. But that's what makes us human. Let's live it fully and try to bring good into the world. I'm praying for the little one today. And for our country. And for other countries. And for you.
We're all in this together. All of us.
---
Jonah 3:8 Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and violence.
Over the past week, C & I have learned about a child who has a skin condition called Epidermolysis Bullosa. We had never heard of this before last week. I encourage you to read about it here. To sum it up in very, very basic & non-medical terms, the skin is extremely fragile and blisters and peels when touched/rubbed. There are varying levels and some people have a mild, manageable form while others have a very severe form that can be life-threatening. There is no cure. There is no real treatment outside of bandages and baths. It is so sad.
This is not our child. And that is sad. Because this is a precious little one who is growing up in an orphanage. A typically developing child who is sometimes in pain because of a horrible disease. I have shed many tears over this little one. Our Navy lifestyle is not conducive to consistent medical care for a rare disease. It just isn't. So we continue to wait for our referral and trust that our child will join our family when the time is right. More importantly, as we navigate the waters of grief for this little one, we remind ourselves that God is God even when we aren't Mom and Dad. We aren't saving these kids. God is expanding our family with one or two of them...but He is the one who saves. The only one. Yet, we still feel sad for the pain that leads to salvation. For the hurt that leads to adoption. For the fallen world with it's disease and death and neglect and abandonment and malnutrition and orphans. It's just sad.
There are racial issues in our country. Serious, horrible racial issues. And it is so, so sad. I have friends who are raising young, black boys and these mommas are scared. Scared for their babies. Scared of what will happen if their teenage sons get pulled over for speeding. Or for a tail light that is out. Or for not signaling. Things I do regularly. It is so sad.
Police are being attacked. The very people who are supposed to protect us. The ones who I teach my (white) children to go to if they are lost or to call in an emergency and to trust because they will keep us safe. It is so sad. Most officers are good. But we are all such a mess. Truly, all of us. That is sad. And why we desperately need Jesus.
France. Turkey. Syria. And these are just the places making our news. Ever heard of Burundi? It's a teeny-tiny country in Africa with great big problems.
Orphans. Disease. Terrorism. Discrimination. Prejudice.
You can try to ignore it, but it is still there.
You don't have to understand it for it to be true.
You don't have to experience it for it to be true.
You don't even have to believe it for it to be true.
You don't have to know about a rare disease for people to be suffering from it all over the world.
You don't have to understand privilege or fear or oppression for them to be happening all the time.
When your eyes are opened, you can't get away from the sad. And that's ok. It's ok to be sad. It's ok to be overwhelmed. Because it really, truly is sad.
There is so much happiness, too. We can't forget. With tears running down and our throats clenching up and wailing "I don't understand why!" we can't forget that we are also surrounded by so much happiness. We can't forget it. But we also can't ignore the sad. Life comes with both. And they can be simultaneous. And that can be confusing, but we have to keep talking, reading, working it out. Most importantly, we have to keep listening. To our friends who are saying that they are nervous. To our neighbors who screaming that they are scared. To our God who comes in "a gentle whisper" (1 Kings 19:12).
I want to listen to you, friends. To truly hear. To learn something new and recognize the world for what it is...the good and the bad. To be challenged and open and heart-broken and ok. I want to be
real. Vulnerability is hard. Sadness it hard. Happiness in spite of sadness is hard. But that's what makes us human. Let's live it fully and try to bring good into the world. I'm praying for the little one today. And for our country. And for other countries. And for you.
We're all in this together. All of us.
---
Jonah 3:8 Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and violence.
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